Gossip/news, Paul the octopus was right, Joan Rivers/Lindsay’s ex Twitter war, Gayken single again, Enrique Iglesias naked?

Unfortunately Paul, the octopus was right again. He has predicted all the matches for the German team right at this World Cup and also the final between the Netherlands and Spain. Spain won 1-0 after a mediocre played but very tense and exciting final. I think as most dutch people I watched the match at a soccer party/BBQ. It was fun and even though I am not a big soccer fan, I kinda enjoyed watching the final. Now I feel like eating calamari so I would not mind a piece of the fortune-teller. I bet Bobbi Eden, the dutch porn-star is secretly a little happy though, she does not have to blow her 23000 Twitter followers as she promised she would do if Holland won.

There is a Twitter bitch fight going on between Joan Rivers and Samantha Ronson, aka Lindsay Lohan’s ex. Joan made some funny jokes about Lindsay saying “Lindsay does not mind being under oath because she thinks Oath is a Norwegian ski instructor.” “Lindsay is so dumb she thinks being sworn in is cursing at the judge.” Ronson then said Joan’s collagen is older than Lindsay and that she should pick on people her own age.” Leave the funny to Joan, Samantha because you are not.

All fans of singer Clay Aiken should be happy because she is single again. He and his boyfriend of 2 years, Broadway actor Reed Kelly are now going their own way. Looks like Clay cheated. That is a surprise because who in their right mind would have sex with Clay. I would probably pick even Rush Limbaugh over Clay. Gayken has like zero sex appeal. He had a porn star and a Broadway actor. What is next, a hair dresser or a make-up artist??

Enrique Iglesias promised the BBC that if Spain would win the World Cup, he would get drunk and water ski naked in Biscayne Bay. Because that is what they always did when he was a kid. Hope he does it, then he can show if the rumors of him being small endowed are true or not. He is hot regardless.

Naked Cowboy of Times Square is not happy

Not happy about the Naked Cowgirl Sandy Kane. My taste might be funky, but I love me some naked cowboy and he certainly looks hotter than the cowgirl. He sent her a cease and desist letter so she either gives him a percentage of her money or puts her clothes back on. At least he is hot, she is saggy and fugs. See for yourself.

Gossip, Jerry Seinfeld hates Lady Gaga, Al Gore raped masseuse??, Prince Albert, Jersey Shore&Gay Pride

Jerry Seinfeld is pissed at Lady Gaga. She was escorted to his private box at a Yankees’ game and now the former funny man is not amused. He called Gaga a jerk and told media he hates her. He thinks Gaga giving the finger to paparazzi is lame and old-fashioned and he does not like her need for exposure. His latest show, the Marriage Ref, was one of the lamest things ever and even though he was hilarious and great when he was young, now he is getting a little too old and boring. I love Lady Gaga and my boyfriend loves Jerry Seinfeld, curious to see what he thinks of this.

I bet my bf, who is a big Al Gore hater, would love it if this story is true. According to the National Enquirer, he tried to rape a masseuse back in 2006 in Portland, Oregon. Maybe that is why Mr Environmentalist broke up?

When talking about Prince Albert some might think it is about a pierced cock, but this story is about the Prince of Monaco. At 52!! years of age the former playboy, who dated many top models, is finally ready to settle down. He is engaged to Charlene Whitstock, a former Olympic Swimmer from South Africa. She seems great for him, he used to be a fanatic athlete as well.

The Guido’s from the Jersey Shore flexed their abs for the cover of the Gay Pride issue of the Village Voice. They knew it was for the Village voice, except the gay part. Since they did not ask and no one brought it up  they are now the headline for an article about Jersey Guido’s on the down-low(secretly gay). I bet they do not even care as long as they get publicity. The Situation and Snookie were at gay channel Logo’s Awards last week so i bet they are open-minded.

Cyndi Lauper is going to get her own reality show called “the comedy of our lives” featuring Cyndi, her husband of 19 years and their 12-year-old son living on the upper West Side. I think she is a riot and loved her last dance album. She show will be produced by Survivor czar Mark Burnett and I will definitely tune in.

Summer sights that are not tasty for the eyes

A dutch magazine did a survey about non tasty things to see in summer. 86% of people do not like the sight of a man without his shirt, sitting outside on a terrace. I agree, I think no man should do that and I think, except while at the beach, only men with a good body should walk around public without their shirts. And definitely here in the Netherlands most of the time you see untrained men do that. Shorts at work under the desk is a no-no for 70%, I agree with that as well. A little over 50% thinks older women should not go sleeveless when they have flubbery arms. I do not mind that as much, except when they are showing hairy pits. Bah!!!

I feel old

Saturday I tried my nephew’s rip-stick, similar to a wave-board. I thought I would be cool and after seeing how good he was, I could do the same. Not. Within a minute I fell on my ass and hands. Just for some loose skin I thought I was fine until waking up the next morning with a super sore arm from trying to break the fall. Today it is even worse! After I fell my nephews said, well I forgot to tell you it is for people under 20. Ouch!!

Sex tips by Mike Diamond

This is not for the prude. Funny  and raunchy comic Mike Diamond gives out some sex-tips in EDGE Boston….

Remember, there are certain things nobody wants to hear during sex. These include, but are not limited to:

“Oops, sorry, I had a big lunch’
Water sloshing around inside of him;
“Can you not aim your cum onto my 600 thread count sheets?”
The whir of a video camera;
’Honey, I’m home!’
Policeman tapping on the car window;
“That’s not my ring, that’s my watch”.

Fantasy is hot, so do all you can to keep the illusion going, you nelly queen, you. Stash your ’All About Eve’ DVD in the closet, and refrain from blasting Judy, Barbara or Diana from the speakers. Yes, sex is the one time when self loathing is not only OK, it’s encouraged!

If you get a pubic hair caught in your throat, bitch just swallow it.

Be creative; try to create a whole new sex act. I did, here’s how it goes. If you’re down on your knees blowing a really fat guy, pull his belly over your head. I call it the Sleeping Bag. It’s a great name because that experienceis sorta like camping, bits of food everywhere. Oh those crazy binge eating chubbsters!

If you always dreamed of being an archeologist, have sex with an older man, it’s like uncovering fossils! You’ve heard of that porno mag about young girls called ’Barely Legal’? Now there’s a hot porn magazine all about older guys, it’s called ’Barely Breathing’. Because nothing beats a good gum job!

Gossip, Michael Jackson’s gay lover?/Brit. Murphy’s husband dates her mom, Halle Berry break-up, Real Housewives news

Jackson’s friend and dermatologist dr Arnold Klein claimed that his former office manager Jason Pfeiffer had a gay relationship with Michael. They were both featured in an interview with Extra during which they talked about this. Michael Jackson being gay is not a surprise but I do not believe he was into Pfeiffer. The guy is huge almost obese and not attractive and we all know at type Michael liked, so this is highly unlikely. They both already got death threats after the interview.

Rumor has it that the husband of the late actress Brittany Murphy is not only living together with but also dating her mother. That would be freaky. They are also shopping around a book-deal about her. It can be crazier though. I just read a 72-year old grandma from Indiana is having a surrogate baby with her grandson!!!

One of the prettiest couples in the world have broken up. Actress Halle Berry and model husband Gabriel Aubrey have ended their 5-year old relationship. Together they have an absolutely gorgeous little girl Nahla. Apparently Halle was getting too old for him!!, Gabriel is 9 years younger. Ouch.

And to end the weekly gossip there is some Real Housewives news. Gretchen from OC was almost in prison for not showing up in court for a face-off with her ex lover  Jay who is suing her for slander. Then Josh Waring, son of Lauri from OC is in prison again. This time not for drug issues but domestic violence. Lauri did such a great job as a mom. And the Countess, from New York has a single out called “Money can’t buy you class” It’s rappy and housy and I unfortunately have to admit it’s so bad I like it. Similar to Kim Zolciak’s Tardy for the Party in that way.

96-year-old bungee jumper

Mohr Keet  made a 210 meter jump from the Bloukransbridge in South Africa. It was his fifth overall jump and the 4th from this bridge. His 72-year !!!old daughter jumped right after him. The bridge is the highest bungee jump bridge in the world. Pretty cool for an old guy like that, I would not do it even at 31!

Bread from 1821

A granny from England has the world’s oldest piece of bread. It is an easter bread baked on Good Friday 186 years ago. According to granny Nancy it was baked in the bakery of her ancestors and they never ate it because it was a present. Even though the bread is rock hard it has no mold on it, just like the legend tells you what happens when baking on Good Friday.

Dutch men do not change their socks every day

Gross. For 50% of dutch men changing socks every day is not a given. 15% does not even change their underwear every day. How disgusting is that?? I definitely do and I think younger people I know do as well, for older people it might not be as standard. Curious how it would be in France!!